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Quarrels

by Me As A Pilot

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1.
December 05:19
The air outside is thin and still It makes me shiver for a short time I was cold, but not for long Out of instinct Or maybe just the thoughts of you alone Bury them in snow You whispered something to me once "Where does time go, when we're old and dumb?" I do not seem to recall any answers Any answers from you at all Bury it in snow I've been trying to find a way To get us back again To the place where we once stayed But I feel it's washed away In the rain In December
2.
I was waiting for the right time But looking for the wrong way I have so much built up inside But really very little ever to say How did we not know Which way that this would go? I didn't know I was drinking, in the sunshine For warmth I did not need Thinking that it was exactly Where I needed to be How did we not know Which way that this would go? I didn't know I was waiting for the right time But then I guess it slipped my mind
3.
The only thing that I hope for Is that you'll understand That this came as a surprise to me As I'm sure it did to you I swear I never had this planned But time has a funny way of changing me Like the mountains or the tide And if I seem tired, or it don't feel like before I don't know if you love me anymore Over wine and whiskey We wonder how long has it been Since that feeling was in our stomachs You know, the one that never seems to rest? You say "It never left." But you have a funny way of showing it And I don't mean to pry But this love feels tired and nothing like before I don't know if you love me anymore Time has a funny way of changing things And honey, I don't want you to cry But this love feels tired and nothing like before I don't know if you love me anymore
4.
We found who we were With help from each other And it's beyond me How I'd need another You can blame it on the wind I'm blaming myself again Because all you do is love me And I'm so sorry to put this on you But what would you rather I do? I can't lie to you Maybe I'll go Try to wait and see You had no idea that something's been eating me We were building a foundation While ruining a home I can't seem to leave you all alone I'm so sorry to put this on you But what would you rather I do? I can't lie to you
5.
Gold 02:24
Gold, I know you come and you go But I never know what to keep. If we weighed what we thought we made Would we be able to sleep? We will not outgrow all the things that we'd learned long ago I thought you needed a little room But that's something I shouldn't assume Sculpted bones, they broke long ago By the hands that once brought them to be If we stayed forever this way As dust on the floor we should sweep We would not outgrow all the things that we'd learned long ago I thought you needed a little room But that's something I shouldn't assume
6.
Wishing Well 02:37
I was sitting over by that wishing well I was holding you hand and as we laughed, we fell And I couldn't tell where we had fell Heaven, or hell. I sifting garbage by the interstate Hoping for some car crash to crash my way I said, it was wrong So I moved along I'm not trying to die In fact, I'm trying to stay alive But there's something inside That takes away the ugliness that comes to me from day to day I was sitting silently beside the beach When some older woman came up laughing at me She said it was wrong, and I don't belong And I don't belong I'm not trying to die In fact, I'm trying to stay alive But there's something inside That takes away the ugliness that comes to me from day to day And I know that it is funny, I just can't believe you think that way If you've lost all your respect for me, then what do I have left to gain? And I'm sorry for my craziness, but sometimes I just feel a little strange
7.
We heard the news and we were broken up It's feeling strange, because I knew you once And after all this time I'd have never known you would be gone I dropped you off at your home You were very happy to be all alone And after all this time, we should have grown But I moved away And I need to say I'm sorry, but I don't know how As we bury your name into the ground I never saw it coming, I never thought it would end this way This feeling is crazy, and I don't know what to say You have gone, gone, gone away I know that there's a lot of love But now it doesn't seem to know where to go My poor sister, she's so shook up She loved you so And I need to say I'm sorry, but I don't know how As we bury your name into the ground I never saw it coming, I never thought it would end this way This feeling is crazy, and I don't know what to say You have gone, gone, gone away
8.
Well, I don't mean to call them "lies" But something has been on my mind. And I'm not trying to be unkind I've been making it easy to say goodbye Should I keep it to myself? The flies flying around my head Are telling me "Surely, something's dead." When I've been trying to make it live But something in me wants to start again Should I keep it to myself? Should I wish you well and say I need no one else, To everyone else? Most times, I'm more at peace If I didn't know the people I see Because sometimes, this place is so ugly It's been making it harder for me to breathe Should I keep it to myself? Should I wish you all well and say I need no one else, To everyone else?
9.
Lost, and wandering Where do I begin? You have my soul Done, done and gone We don't seem to belong To anyone You got a ring around your finger And you don't seem to mind But there is fear that seems to linger On your mind Getting sick Of the shit I let myself go through Oh, you're long, long gone We don't see anyone Really anymore You are a fever that's running My body to the ground From your toes up to your fingers, I feel you around You got a ring around your finger And you know that I don't mind But there is fear that seems to linger On your mind
10.
All Shook Up 04:34
Am I all shook up? I can't tell Did I lose your love? Tell me, do you love me still? When you see her, Do you need her? Am I all shook up? I can't tell What do we dream of? Just living well. Do you see me there, Or honey, is it just yourself? When your mind wanders, Are you bothered? Am I all shook up? I can't tell Where did we go? I don't know. Did you put our love Above or below me? When you see me, Do you need me? Am I all shook up? Yes, I am.

credits

released December 27, 2012

Recorded in The Freedom Lounge in Saint Paul
Produced by Nick Costa, Sam Sanford, and Ryan Traster
Mixed By Knol Tate
Mastered by Danny Morrison

The Band:
Nick Costa: Acoustic and Electric Guitars, Bass, Rhodes, Banjitar, Melodica, Vocals, Percussion, Noise
Eric Carranza: Electric Guitars, Rhodes
Andy Sanford: Bass
Max Gremillion: Drums

Artwork by Kerri O'Halloran

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Me As A Pilot Minneapolis, Minnesota

Me As A Pilot is the solo project for Nick Costa. Nick is also the singer/guitarist in the band The Person and The People (thepersonandthepeople.bandcamp.com).

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